


You Can Change Right Next To Me

by who_needs_words



Series: short fics for A-spec Archives Week 2021 [5]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: A-spec characters written by an a-spec author, Angst, Aromantic Sasha James, Aromantic Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Aspec Archives Week (The Magnus Archives), Bisexual Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Canon Asexual Character, Gen, No beta we die like archival assistants, Queerplatonic Relationships, hints at all the sad stuff that happens to tim and sasha, i guess?, is this a character study?, not story importnat but i'm tagging it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28824945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_needs_words/pseuds/who_needs_words
Summary: Tim wasn't dating Sasha. He did love her, just not like that. They were partners.(Or: Queerplatonic TimSasha spiced with some angst )
Relationships: Danny Stoker & Tim Stoker, Queerplatonic Sasha James/Tim Stoker - Relationship, Sasha James & Tim Stoker
Series: short fics for A-spec Archives Week 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106123
Kudos: 21
Collections: Aspec Archives Week





	You Can Change Right Next To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “Grow as We Go” by Ben Platt"
> 
> This is for the final day of A-spec Archives Week, the prompts for Sunday were "Discover/Solidarity/Music" 
> 
> I kinda deviated from the prompts, but oh well.

Tim Stoker loved Sasha James. 

This was a fact of his life, from those first few months after he joined the institute. All the way to the day she died. Timothy Stoker loved Sasha James. 

But he didn’t. Tim has sped years thinking about it; love and what it meant. Google would have him believe it simple meant a deep affection. This definition was lacking. Tim felt a deep affection for lot of things in his life life. 

Tim lord his brother. He had loved Danny from the first day he met him, and his hear still ached very time he thought of his lost little brother. _Storge, _his mind whispered.__

__Tim loved Jonathan Sims. In a way. They had been friends for years and even when Tim hated him he would never forget the warmth that came from knowing Jon would go through hell for him. The hurt was all the worse for loving Jon. _Philia_ he remembered. A word from some long forgotten internet post._ _

__He had loved his first girlfriend, silly teenagers they may have been. He loved her first boyfriend too. Even though their relationship had been built on getting high together and going to parties. He loved the all- even if he _knew_ deep in his heart he would never marry them. The love he felt of them wasn’t the same kind they felt for him. _Ludus_ he recalled, the word echoing up from inside him. _ _

__He’d loved all the people he went out with. Short little affairs, a date or two, then sex. Then they would both move on. Tim liked sex and for that night he loved those partners. _Eros_. This term he knew he. Sexual love. _ _

__He loved himself too. It hadn’t been easy. The loss of Danny had destroyed everything, including Tm’s self worth. If he couldn’t save his brother, couldn’t protect his brother then what did he have?_ _

__Sasha had answered that for him. He had himself, he could rebuild. Sasha wasn’t his base, wasn’t the stone he build everything on. They both knew that would not be a good idea. Tim needed to rebuild hid own life, not hang everything on something else. But she helped find _himself_. Taught him how to rebuild his life. Her love was the greatest gift. _ _

__Not love. Companionship._ _

__Because no-matter how much love Tim gave, no matter how many people he dated, or how many he slept with, he never once love them. Not in the romantic sense._ _

__Tim wasn’t sure he knew what romantic love was._ _

__That was a lie. He’s read books, listened to songs, heard others talk about it. But he had never felt it._ _

__What he felt for Sasha wasn’t romantic love. But it wasn’t friendship either. Friendship is what he felt for Jon, for martin. Sasha was something deeper- something more. Something fathomless._ _

__Partnership._ _

___Queerplatonic_. Now there was a term. Jon had mentioned it once. On one of his many rambling tirades. He’d started talking about love, and how it interacted with the asexuality spectrum. What love even meant. (The poor man had been rather drunk at the time). Tim wasn’t a fan of term but it was nice to know it was out there; that others felt the way he did._ _

__Sasha was his partner. They’d gone on… not dates, but outings. Bars, festivals, concerts, movies, and so much more. Every weekend they’d do something else. They’d been more than friends, but not dating. _Partners_. Sasha had been his partner._ _

__And his everything._ _

__Funnily enough he couldn’t still remember the first song they had danced to. They hadn’t been at a bar, nor a concert. They’d been in Tim’s new apartment, a new home for a new Tim. They’d been decorating the new flat- trying to make it home._ _

__Music had been playing quietly in the back ground and they painted the walls bright colors. Sasha in her favorite work shirt, covered in paint and tar (or was it? Was the smile he remembered even hers?) when a song had come on. No matter how hard he tried Tim still can't remember what song it had been- only the look on Sasha’s face when it had come on._ _

__Bright and happy. Full of promise for a brighter and happier future._ _

__Sasha had set down her brush and taken Tim by the hands. They’d danced the rest of the evening away._ _

__It had been the first time Tim had smiled a true smile since he lost Danny. To soft music and Sasha’s smile._ _

**Author's Note:**

> heheh
> 
> Tim and Sasha make me Sad™. This was supposed to be Tim and Sasha having fun and dancing then it turned into angst. 
> 
> Google couldn't decide if Eros is romantic or sexual love. Personally I'm fairly sure it's sexual, so sorry if that bit is incorrect. 
> 
> If you see any spelling/grammar errors just let me know.


End file.
